


Love Can't Stand Alone

by orphan_account



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Pride Parades, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24500995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ting Ting can’t help but lose her grin for only a second, they’re all so open and honest, so why does she feel like she’s lying just a little?
Relationships: Ting Ting/Fon, Ting Ting/Tang
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Love Can't Stand Alone

“You guys ready?” Ting Ting asks excitedly as she walks into the room to find all the men staring up at her with various mixtures of expressions raging from surprise, acceptance, and a more than not a shake of their heads. She carries a rainbow flag in one hand, a sign with bold letters in more rainbow saying, ‘ **Love Is Love** ’ in the other, and her shirt is a white with rainbow streaks all over. She has a pride flag painted on one cheek and stripe of hair died in rainbow colours that took most of last night to do.

Her attire is only outmatched by Duen’s who’s smiling widely, his own flag in hand as he walks over and gives her a one armed hug. He’s also sporting a painted pride flag on one cheek, but the others are a little more low-key. There’s a pin on Thara’s shirt, a bracelet on King’s wrist, and few little knickknacks on all of them, but it’s mostly down to only one each. It doesn’t put Ting Ting down in the slightest, she’s excited, overly so, to finally be supporting her friends so out in the open. This is her first pride parade, but it’s also everyone else’s too.

“Y- Yeah.” Chokes out Bohn, as he covers it with a cough.

“We should get going everyone.” King agrees with a nod.

“Don’t want to be late.” Thara adds.

.

The people that they meet on at the park, the start of it all sport bright colours, people from all walks of life, queer and ally alike. There’s various flags of all different kinds, but the rainbow one is most prominent. There’s a nervousness in a lot of them, but there’s also something so freeing and safe to be surrounded by people just like them. Most of Ting Ting’s friends are nervous, were even reluctant to come, but now they’re here, and a lot of them relax as one of the organizers starts speaking into a speaker phone.

It’s instructions, and then it’s encouragement. It’s love. Ting Ting has never felt a moment so beautiful, and she wants to share it. She can’t help but reach out to her best friend, the one person she loves most in the world, and takes his hand. Tang’s surprises features soon turn soft as he smiles at her, holding back just as tightly. They smile to each other and turn back to the speaker who finishes.

They start walking then, one foot in front of the other, people singing, and drums beating from the Indigenous groups that walk alongside them. They’re all the same though, all humans with love in their hearts, and Ting almost wants to cry. She feels her heart swell. The others are smiling two, even the few couples who aren’t used to public displays like Ram and King, they hold hands now, soft glances to the other.

Ting Ting can’t help but lose her grin for only a second, they’re all so open and honest, so why does she feel like she’s lying just a little? Like she feels like she belongs here more than she thought she should.

“Are you okay?” Tang asks gently, hands squeezing around hers.

She looks up to his worried eyes and they remind her why they’re here. She pushes all those other thoughts away and nods. “Yeah, I am.”

She is.

.

They’re out drinking at a gay club of all things. It was Duen’s idea but Ting Ting was quick to agree until they got everyone in their extended group to agree. Eventually they made it to Shambera and drinks were passed out with ease. All of them twenty or older, and Ting Ting finds that after only three she’s already moving in languid movements, tipsy.

“You okay?” Tang asks gently.

Ting Ting nods. “Bathroom. Be right back.”

“Do you want me to come?”

“I’ll be fine!”

Tang looks reluctant but she convinces him and makes her way to the bathroom, she gets in there and does her business, but when she comes out of the stall she finds a pretty girl on the floor, crying into her hands. Ting Ting washes hers quickly and then, movements still a little off balance, manages to sit next to her. She slides down the wall until they’re shoulders are pressing together.

“What’s wrong? HM?” Ting Ting eyes her up, mascara a little ruined but her beauty doesn’t rely on that. Her hair shiny and her lips red. They’re closer than Ting Ting thought they were as she gulps, suddenly a little more sober as she realizes how she was staring at her lips, leaning in too close. She’s almost drunk, she reminds herself, but even as she thinks it, she knows she’s sobering up a little.

“Are you okay?” Ting repeats, hand touching her arm, a little awkwardly.

The woman looks up, around her age, maybe a year or two older. “Ye- Yeah. It’s just-” She sighs, words blubbered and a little slurred. She’s been drinking too. “This guy broke up with me for another guy, and I- I thought maybe that was a dumb sign. So I came here with my best friend and she doesn’t like me. She’s not- She’s straight. Why did Boss get all the luck? Why do men always be- beeee happier..!?”

Ting Ting nods, ignoring the familiar name and says, “You deserve better. You deserve SOOOO much better.”

Ting’s hand comes up, waving in the air to empathize her point.

“You think?” She’s stops crying now, eyes wide and hopeful, _beautiful_.

Something in Ting’s heart swirls, she feels herself losing her breath. She’s always liked guys. Felt this way about Pete in ninth grade, just before he kissed her. She was a little freaked out so she ran away, heart beating wildly. Her long time crush finally kissing her, but then she ran, and the next day when she tried to talk to him about it, he was dating Lina.

She was sure then, and she’s sure now, but it’s so confusing. Her stomach and heart swirl at the implication of this, what it all means. Tears, unexpected and harsh suddenly appear in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall over until they eventually do. The woman beside her looks up startled and reaches out, wiping them away, surprisingly gentle and precise in her own intoxicated state. She leans in closer, and Ting smells _roses_.

Before she even realizes it, they’re kissing, soft lips moving against another. Fingers curling in that silky dark hair, another hand on her hip, leaving butterflies fluttering in her stomach up to her heart. She touches her on her neck, and jaw, and Ting kisses back, harder. The tears intermingle with lipstick and saliva. It’s not perfect, but when they pull away, the woman pecks Ting’s lips one last time, sending pleasure farther down than Ting Ting was ready to feel.

“I’m Fon, by the way.” She says gently.

“Ting. I- I’m Ting.” Ting Ting is breathless, but she doesn’t get to linger in this moment long because the door is being pushed open. A frantic Tang looks around wildly, Ram behind him, concern in both their eyes. Ting is quick to detangle from Fon as she stands, putting her clothes back in order, a blush high on her cheeks as she feels distinctly like she did when she was younger getting caught sneaking sweets from her grandma’s sweet box.

“Ting?” Tang asks. “Are you okay? You were gone for…”

His eyes drift to Fon who’s looking at them both curiously, eyes hazy.

“She was upset.” Ting Ting tries to explain, and reason. To them or herself, she’s not sure. “We should help her get home.”

.

“What are you doing here?” Ting Ting asks surprised and confused to find Tang and Phu standing in front of her door to her room. She stands there herself, kitten pajamas on and a tub of ice cream in hand. She’s already eaten half of it, her eleventh romcom playing in the background.

“We were worried.” Phu tells her.

“You haven’t been answering your phone.” Adds Tang.

The unspoken, ‘and that’s weird for you’ hangs in the air. Ting Ting always answers her texts, within five minutes in fact, but for the past day she hasn’t. Half of it was spent hungover in bed, and the other half having a meltdown in bed.

Ting Ting looks between them both and sighs. She doesn’t have to tell them exactly what’s wrong, she’s not ready too honestly, but she’s not going to lie either. Friends don’t lie to each other. “Fine!” She throws her hand that’s not holding her ice scream in the air and ushers them in. “Come in then.”

They sit around her small table after Ting paused the movie on her laptop on the bed, and then joined them. She hasn’t let go of her ice cream though, continuing to eat it as she glowers downwards. Tang and Phu exchange a concerned glance.

“What’s wrong?” Tang asks gently.

Ting Ting sighs. “I’m having a life changing moment.” She says it cryptically, unable to elaborate, because then she’d have to admit it and she’s not even really sure that it’s real. Or that it’s true, but… Ugh, so confusing.

“Can you tell us what that is?” Tries Phu.

Ting Ting freezes, afraid which is silly because they all just went to a pride parade not two weeks ago, and yet, she’s still so _afraid_. Not just of telling them, but of telling herself.

“No.” She says finally, ice cream lodged in her throat. She swallows it and pushes the rest away. Another sigh and, “Thanks guys, but it’s something I have to figure out for myself.”

The two young men nod, but Tang reaches out. Hand going to rest on top of hers softly. Eyes serious as he says, “We’re here for you, if you need us.”

Phu eyes the touch curiously.

Ting Ting pants Tang’s hand on hers with her other and says, “I know. I love you- Both. But you should go, I’m in the middle of Princess Diaries, and you know how much I love that movie.”

Her voice doesn’t holds its usual excitement, but the others leave regardless, and as soon as they’re gone, well, Ting Ting may or may not start to cry just a little bit. Confused and frustrated tears that have built all day, finally being let out.

.

“Fon.” Ting Ting breathes, a hand waving in the air as she eyes Fon who sits off to the side, guitar on her lap. She’s surrounded by makeup and hair people, her small music video being filmed here on campus. It’s how Ting Ting found her, but as soon as Fon looks to her, Fon’s eyes widen, a blush forming on her cheeks. Ting Ting feels her heart pick up, butterflies being let out inside as she loses her breath for a moment. She watched as Fon tells the others something and comes walking over, pulling Ting Ting off to the side.

“What are you doing here?” Fon says a little hurriedly, but not unkind. Her hand is soft on Ting Ting’s arm, her lips so close, she could almost reach up and kiss her again, but she doesn’t. They’re in public, and she doesn’t even know what exactly this is. She knows what she wants it to be, what she’s afraid to want it to be, but not what it is.

“I didn’t have your number.” Ting Ting explains a little sheepishly, and slightly embarrassed at the way Fon’s looking at her. All soft and sorry, like Ting Ting is some kind of child that doesn’t quite understand a hard concept. Not like the adults do. “You got home safe? That’s good.”

“Yeah, thank you, but you can’t be here.” Fon explains, and her voice is gentle. Sweet. Kind. _Roses._

“Oh, right, you’re music video. I’m sorry. I can come back some other time, or we could get dinner…”

“I’m really sorry.” Fon tells her, and she looks it to, eyebrows all furrowed and face pinched in guilt. “I was getting over my ex and my ex best friend, it didn’t mean anything.”

Oh. _Oh_. “Oh. No- I’m- I’m sorry.” Ting Ting nods, embarrassed as she slips away from Fon’s touch, heart doing somersaults in the place of butterflies. She feels her heart squeeze as she tries to get away. “Right, of course.”

“Ting-”

But Ting is already turned away, walking quickly out of there.

She doesn’t turn back.

.

Why is this so hard? It shouldn’t be, not really, two of her friends are dating guys. Clearly in same-sex relationships. They like guys. Guys liking guys. Guys loving guys. So why can’t she just, ‘I like girls, too.’ Why can’t she just say it? It’s so hard. Her fingernails dig into her palms, tight fists as the others talk about the latest attics of the two heads of the science and arts departments respectfully, new shenanigans. They’re called ‘Romeo and Juliet’ by all the students, they’re clearly interested in the other, but haven’t done much about it other than the occasional situation that leaves everyone talking and pulling at their hair as to why they’re not together yet.

Usually Ting Ting is right in the thick of the dissuasion, but right now she can’t. Right now she’s thinking about how she’s a girl that likes girls. How she wants to tell her friends so badly, and yet she’s still so afraid.

“Hey.” Tang says in that same gentle and comforting voice, eyes on hers. His voice is quiet, just the two of them as the others still talk amongst themselves. “Are you okay?”

Ting Ting looks up at him and tries to smile, but fails miserably. She stares into his eyes and she feels safe. Comforted. Like coming home.

“I think I like girls, too.” She tells him, and it’s loud enough that everyone hears. The table becomes eerily silent as everyone stops talking. All eyes are on her. She looks away from Tang’s surprisingly even expression to the others. They all have looks of surprise, curiosity, and something else. Ting Ting doesn’t understand what that something else is until Phu says with exasperation, “Am I the only straight one here!?”

Everyone laughs, including Ting Ting, and oh, that’s what it is…

_Acceptance._

“You’re straight?” Duen says, teasingly. “I didn’t know, not with the way you were looking at Tee.”

“Hey!”

Ting’s cheeks hurt from smiling.

_And love, yes, love too._


End file.
